'To Sluice the Deuce': A New Scatological Euphemism

It is my wish to introduce into the vernacular of the English tongue the scatological euphemism 'to sluice the deuce', meaning, of course, 'to defecate'. Google has returned no matching entry, so I feel fairly certain the term is not in popular use.

The benefits of this new term are several, the principal among them being that 'sluice' and 'deuce' rhyme.

Additional related terms include the euphonious 'sluice-deucer', which can refer either to the orifice the sluices the deuces, or a person who reminds one of a sluice-deucer (analogous, of course, to the term 'asshole').

If this term pleases, please consider adding it to your repertoire of scatological euphemisms. Thank you for your time and attention.

Hiatus!

Save for the coordinated content posts, the author of Chide, Chode, Chidden is, until further notice, on hiatus.

Monday Broodings

The blade pierces. The rope draws tight about my neck. Black.

'Daisy-Dukes'

So, the other day, I was out in my family's garage, helping to build a loft. The heat in the garage was terrible, and so I was determined to provide myself with some relief, by creating from some old jeans a pair of 'Daisy-Dukes'. I informed my mother of my intention, to which she said, "I thought Daisy-Dukes were intended only for women." To which I answered, "No, Daisy-Dukes are for anyone who finds himself in a state of extreme discomfort due to the inclemency of the weather." Dubious, my mother told me she'd rather I didn't carry out my plan.

So, in the end, I didn't make a pair, but only because I didn't have a worn enough pair of jeans. When I do, however...well, I'll post a picture.

Shoe

Today I saw in the street an abandoned shoe. It was a croc, or a croc knock-off.